I ain't no Cowgirl!!

Ok, so I have nothing against cowgirls, in fact I probably appreciate them now more than ever before..... Our neighbors have cows. Large cows. Cows about to meet the end of their lives as they know it in a couple of weeks. Well, I noticed one of those large cows had escaped and was wandering and chowing on our grass. I tried to call the neighbors, no answer. So I called Jed to get their cell phone number. He called it, and no answer. Jed told me not to worry about it, so I didn't for awhile. Then I noticed the cow was getting close to the road. I talked to Jed and he says, "the cow's not going to hurt you, just go get some oats and lead it back to the pen." I called around to get the neighbors other cell number and I got a hold of the wife. She calls her husband, calls back and says he's about 10 minutes away. Whew. Then I asked, its getting pretty close to the road. Do you want to do something? She said if I got the oats, he would probably follow me right back into the pen. Easy enough. Ok. I can do that. I go outside, walk past the cow....no problem. I finally figure out how to open their horse trailer to get the oats out. I fill a bucket with some oats, and head towards the cow. The cow sees me with the bucket and heads the other way! Then he goes into our ditch, so I shake the bucket and hold out a scooper with some oats. I get his attention but he didn't seem convinced to come my way. Then I decided to lay down the scoop of oats on the ground and hopefully ease him toward the pen. So I lay it down, then cow fury breaks loose. I was not prepared. The cow starts jumping and bucking and charging me!! I start running in the opposite direction as fast as I could--keep in mind this is a 1,000 pound cow mass running and bucking at me. I ran up our little hill that goes to the road for some hopeful safety. And just my luck, he stays on our lawn and doesn't follow me!! So that scared me to death. Then I'm just trying to think of what to do next when my neighbor pulls around the corner!! I only tell him "Your cow does not like me." Then I follow him toward the cow and tell him where he broke the fence...yadda yadda. Then he holds up the bucket and the cow goes nuts again--bucking and jumping up...and then running in my direction again. I try to keep my composure and casually walk to my house, since my neighbor was also acting casual and composed apparently not afraid of this GIANT cow going to plow us both over..... Then I turn around and watch for a minute and this cow just doesn't want to go back into the pen and starts acting crazy... my neighbors cowboy friend comes around the corner, where I am, with a rope and I feel like I can safely turn around, they clearly don't need my help anymore. :) I reach my house and Madelyn runs out of the house, totally and clearly scared for my life. She can't keep her composure, she saw the whole thing!! She thought I was going to die. So did I for a minute! I'm just glad I wasn't trodden under hoof of cow and lived to tell the tale!!