My LIfe with Five

So, I had to record what it has been like the last few weeks around our place.  I'm going to be raw and honest here....sometimes I'm so busy writing about events and such that I don't always write about the nitty gritty.  To be sure, things are definitely not all sunshine and rainbows around here, but there are definitely wonderful moments to be found too.  These last few weeks we have seen:
-all my children completely enamored with their infant little sister.  Tiny fingers, toes, cute yawns, grunts, fuzzy hair, kissable chubby cheeks, even the tiny soiled diaper packages are "cute!"
-Lily absolutely adores her baby "kah" as she calls her.  She always asks "where baby go?" if I'm not holding her. She loves to also poke her eyes out, put her tiny fists in her mouth-as I hold my breath-because Lily is a big biter--she hasn't done it yet.  She likes to climb all around me as I'm nursing.  That isn't as big of a problem now that I am not in intense pain while I feed her anymore.
-I think I would opt to go through labor twice without an epidural than to go through labor and then deal with nursing issues, tailbone pain, lack of sleep, after labor contractions, and everything else that goes on after birth.  I don't take any pain medication until about the third day after I deliver a baby, if that says anything.  I think the hardest part about having a baby is what comes after!! 
-I have certain children majorly pushing the envelope.  We've had the most arguing and fighting our home has ever seen.  I always feel like just shouting "stop fighting!!"  ok and sometimes I do....but that never works.  And I know that, but to someone completely sleep deprived, it's as if those words just jump out of my mouth all on their own.
-I have done my darndest to make the most of this summer.  Even though my darndest isn't what I had hoped for this summer.  I am trying, and hopefully my kids feel that.  How is it that a month of summer has come and gone anyway?!
-We had a summer schedule and made summer goals that have ended up being quite loose. 
-I have tried to slow down at home, but then life just keeps on going....laundry still piles up, children still need to be bathed, floors still need to be swept, meals still need to be cooked, childrens needs still need to be fulfilled.......so I haven't really figured out how to really slow down when things just keep rolling.
-I got my best nights sleep last night.  Claire woke up 3 times to eat and then she fell back asleep with no crying spells!!!  AMAZING!  I will take it.
-Jed let me take an evening nap while he did FHE with all five children, cleaned up after dinner, read scriptures with the kids, and put them to bed.  It just felt so good to have a couple of hours detached from any needs and get some sleep.
-I always feel as if I have so much to learn about mothering after having a baby.  I guess it just comes with the territory of learning how to run a household with a new number of children.  I always feel spread so thin in the beginning.  These are familiar feelings.  I know in time things will improve.  Poor Jed has only had me make his lunch a handful of times in the last 3 weeks!!
-I have successfully completed a large shopping trip with all 5 children.  We had 2 carts going and some delegating going on to make it all function.  And it worked!  (knock on wood)...
-I have now learned:  don't plan to leave the house before noon, and start dinner at breakfast time if you want to have a nice dinner when the hubby gets home from work!!
-I am so grateful to all those who graciously made meals for our family over the last few weeks.  As we have added more children to our fold, it just seems like it means more to me every time.  It is just such a humongous help!
-We have made it through 2 sacrament meetings now.  Church is quite the juggling act!  It is a whole lot of work to get everyone there and through it all.  I'm just so so so so so grateful that our church switched over to the 11:00 time from 9:00 the day before Claire was born.  Tender mercy.  Seriously.
-Claire is a snuggle bug.  And I absolutely love it.  She smiles when I talk to her.  Today she smiled the biggest longest smile at Drew and it made him so happy his "eyes watered."  It was totally precious. 
-Drew and Madelyn have stepped it up a notch in the helping department.  They've filled sippies, been the referee in Han/Lil fights, gotten Lily dressed, even changed a diaper or too--wet ones.  :)
-I have also learned it takes a lot of effort and positive thinking for me not to break down in tears over feeling exhausted and guilty for not being a better mom.
-Through everything, I do feel extremely blessed.  We are so lucky to have this new little girl who was definitely supposed to be a part of our family.  She is such a beautiful and sweet girl.

I am grateful that Heavenly Father stretches us.  I always feel quite humble and reliant on Heavenly Father after becoming a new mom again--and even more so on my fifth time.  I know I can't do any of this alone.  He knows that too!!  I know I receive more help than I even realize.  I know if I turn to Heavenly Father that all of these experiences will smooth out some of my rough spots.

Our little one is here!

So, yes we have had our baby!!!  Let's just say that blogging has not been top priority and trying to maintain sanity has been!  :)  Unfortunately, my camera is not communicating with my computer and it won't let me load my pictures!!  I will definitely get some on here when I can figure things out... Our little Claire Kathleen was born June 4th at 8 lb 13 oz and 21 inches long.  (A word of caution:  this is going to be a big post, but I like to remember details, so continue at your own risk!)  Awaiting her arrival was quite eventful.  About a week and a half before she was due, we were headed up to Swan Valley for a scout campout when I started having regular contractions at 7 minutes apart the whole drive there.  They were significant in the moderate pain department so Jed and I laughed as we imagined the possibilities......He was to conduct sacrament meeting on Sunday, and conduct a couple meetings and was in charge of the Eagle Court of Honor that night, plus the other counselor was out of town (poor bishop)--not to mention we'd have to leave the campout.  Then nothing.  I had been measuring a week ahead of time for a couple weeks so that kind of got us thinking about the possibility of an early arrival--I should never do that!!  Jed was working out of town during the week leading up to my due date and so it drove my stress level up a notch or two every time he would leave....just so many "what-ifs" your dealing with when awaiting a baby!!  I'm sure Heavenly Father was rather confused with me, hearing me pray to have a baby...then praying to not have a baby when Jed was gone!  Jed was out of town a couple of days past my due date, and I was starting to be so nervous about having to admit myself into the hospital and answer all of those questions during hard labor......
     Anyway, I learned some valuable lessons about Heavenly Father being in charge and trusting in Him and His timing. The Dr. scheduled me to be induced a few days after my due date (not something I really wanted to do) and I asked him if I we could delay a little.  He consented to let me push it back one day, Friday.  I had not felt settled about going in on Thursday, but for some reason Friday felt good, even though my ideal was to wait until Monday.  Friday came and we dropped the kids off at grandmas, and were headed to the hospital.  We stopped by one store on the way to the hospital and as we were about ready to leave, we got a phone call from the Dr.'s office saying the Dr. had an emergency and couldn't induce that day.  What a relief/disappointment.  It's hard to get hopes up and get crushed, yet at the same time that is what I wanted to do was wait until Monday anyway.  I saw it as a blessing and knew Heavenly Father was in charge.  Then I would be one week late and I was sure the baby would come on her own!  It was so confusing to the kids to have us come back with no baby!
      The baby did not come on her own, and I was so nervous to be induced.  I like to have babies naturally and I have heard so many horror stories about pitocin cranking up the pain.  Everything ended up going wonderfully and I didn't get an epidural.  They started me just with a little pitocin and only raised the amount three times.  The doctor broke my water a couple of hours after I was started and things just took off.  When I was to a 7 they called the doctor and it was a good thing they did.  I kept telling Jed I didn't know if I could wait, but luckily, he got there just in time and was actually holding the baby's head while reaching for some supplies....just in the knick of time I guess.  With one push she was out!  And boy does that girl have some good lungs.  She just cried and cried until they gave her to me and when I started talking to her she quieted down--so sweet!!  She is such a little beauty and we love her so much!!!